Archive for February, 2012

Online Dating and Content, Context and Comfort

Right out of the shoot, one of the standout Problems of online dating / meeting Relationships In Any form or recognizing is a good When did you see it. This Is not unique to online dating and online dating / meeting Probably Did not Even Make It Worse. It sure makes it stand out, though. The practical realities that go along with a connecting place online real premium on getting it right Because of how quickly Can it unfold. If that’s true, the sooner we spot “Mr. Right” the better off we’re going to be. The Same Is True for not recognizing He’s Mr. Right. What I’m going to Suggest Is Another way of looking at general purpose in Relationships with Men In particular that will Increase your chances of success at all stages.

For now, I’d Like To Introduce What I call the three “C” s as a Means of partial Effectively dealing with the issue of suitability relationship, no matter how you meet. I call it relationship shorthand and while It Is not bullet proof, it’s a great way of looking at relationships. Both the structure and the application are simple. One of my friends I Thought Discussed it with simplicity WAS ITS Why It worked so well. The three “C” s stand for Content, Context and Comfort. The first cam Two components from my business and Organizational Development education. The Third component Grew out of observation year I made about personal relationships.

Content, as Defined by the dictionary IS, “that Which is Contained by something, as in the contents of a drawer.” Both our lives have as a couple and Individuals Have happy. It Will Come as a surprise to no one That Often the content IS changing. Life Happens and it affects the content of our lives, and with Whom you are Likely to Be compatible. That’s Why Life Will work Interests and matter.

Context Is the second component. Few Things exist outside of a context, to include our lives. When we enter a relationship in Into Any form, how your context and “historical” context did together Will Be pivotally important. If your life is out of context’s sync with his, the ride IS Likely To Be bumpy. A mismatch in terms of your life’s contextual realities and your partner’s Usually shows up in the unwelcome form of stress … Which ultimately affects your relationship in Ways You’d prefer it did not. There Is not Much you can do about contextual realities in the short run, Being so sensitive to them up front IS a prudent measure for Both Potential partners.

Our last component IS comfort. Comfort Is How It Feels to Be Together. When Everything is in your Clicking relationship, the content of your lives together and you share the contextual realities combine to create comfort Often organically. Conversely, comfort to Some Extent Can Compensate for Difficulties in life Either happy or contextual conflict, if Both parts make year effort to “plus-up” the comfort factor for Each Other. Will it work only for Period of time if one but not the Other IS making this effort.

This is Probably the time for me to mention my Belief That no relationship if endure Will Any of These IS elements conspicuously unfavorable for a Prolonged Period. This shows up in Especially Earlier stages. We Will Never Be free of Periods in the lives we lead at least When One of These components get out of whack Will … Perhaps Even More Than One. When That OCCURS, we make a decision to move on to work or Through It, DEPENDING ON how our Invested we are in year partner and enduring relationship with him or her. Purpose if it Persists Indefinitely, Will Often a relationship break from under the strain, however well-intentioned we are.

What the three “C” s do best is organizes our thinking about our relationship, whether it Is in early stages or at STI STI more mature and advanced courses. As We’ve Discussed Earlier in this article, thesis components are Interdependent and work together to create environment in Which year we want to stay, or conversely, create one in which (Hopefully) both sides Recognize Need for a change. That changed May take the form of Another relationship with gold Someone better suited May it mean to work together year agreement to Improve the effects of one or more of the components on the relationship.

The three “C” s clear the fog and make decisions more discussion and Focused. THEY serve as a framework for discussion of exchange You Can make or cooperatively as a non-confrontational way of discussing What May Be fatally flawed in a relationship, and moving on with less angst and hard feeling. There’s nothing magical about ‘em. As With Any thoughtful framework, it covered any Both sides are working together to Committed and It Will not Work If They Are not. Even purpose annually Used by Individual, Can it serve as a great barometer for Both the relationship as you’re reading Potential profiles and have a gut check as the relationship evolve.

What Sucks About Online Dating

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, I knew a guy. This guy was interesting because he lived his life by everything bad, not good. That may sound a little strange but consider your life and the conversations you may have on any given day. How often are you inundated with advertising, or endorsements from friends or messages preaching the positives of something? For example, “This restaurant is great because it has the best salad bar in town.” Or how about, “You should shop at Nordstrom’s this weekend because they are having a great sale!” My most recent message, “You should stay at this hotel because they have the largest rooms!”

Everybody in the world from industry to people always puts their best foot forward. They highlight the good, and hide the bad. We sell based on our assets, we win based on being the best. This did not work on the guy I knew. He lived his life by everything bad. He wanted to know that the lettuce in the salad was 3 days old instead of fresh. If that was not bad enough for him to avoid, he would eat the salad. If the sale at Nordstrom’s was going on, he would want to know the mark-up Nordstrom’s is making on each on sale item. If it was not too much, he would shop the sale. If this guy was hotel shopping, he would want to know that the maid service is horrible, and that the room smelled like smoke. If he could live with the bad, he would move forward.

Let’s take his notion and talk about something so very near and dear to all of our wandering hearts. The theory here: If you knew all the things bad about dating online, can you live with them? Does the benefit outweigh the drawbacks?

1) There are a lot of fake profiles on dating websites. Fake profiles are spammers posing as real people. When choosing a website to meet people, you have a lot of options. Many dating sites have advanced spam filters and moderators that block spam activity and thus, keeping the nuisance to a minimum. On the flip side the vast majority of websites do not have any spam filters, meaning 9 out of every 10 members are fake! Pick your website of choice carefully, and know that no matter what, you have to be weary of spammers.

2) The quality of online candidates is low. While this perception of online dating cannot be considered false, it most certainly cannot be considered true! People believe that those who online date cannot find a date in real life because they are not good looking or are socially inept. Fact: Not all people on online dating websites look like Brad Pitt or Megan Foxx. Fact: Some people join dating websites because they are not graced with the skill or confidence to meet strangers in a social environment. Fact: Just because the first two are facts, it does not mean these are poor quality members! Bottom line, a dating website is a reflection of the real world and there is something for everyone. Who is anybody to judge what is good or bad? Realize that when you date online, have to meet people you’re not going to like until you find your perfect match. That’s life. The next time you are in a crowded room, look around you. It’ll resemble all the members on an inernet dating site.

3) There aren’t enough people in my area. For many dating websites, especially the younger ones, this is most certainly true, especially if you live in a rural area. If this is the case, you have two things you may have to learn to deal with. – You could meet somebody online through a dating website that lives in the nearest major city or town to you, and commute. The commute may be a drag, but would you drive an hour to find the man of your dreams? Your other option is to join the website, and keep checking your profile on a weekly basis to keep track of all the new people joining who live in your area, and have first pick of the litter! If you feel like being philanthropic, you can even share the dating profile with some of your friends, who will then share it with their friends via Facebook, Twitter or whatever. Before you know it, a huge number of people will be joining that internet dating website in your area, and you’re not going to know any of them!

4) Online dating is frowned upon. It may be shocking, but even in today’s world there are people who do not respect the service internet dating provides the lonely. In their defense, these people have low confidence, low self esteem and will probably be single forever. They are not date worthy. Those who online date need courage to try something new, wisdom to play the online introduction game, and the confidence to dismiss the fools who judge. At the end of the day, you will marry and live a happy life, and they will not.

In conclusion, Online Dating Sucks! So do hotel rooms, so does Nordstrom’s, and so do all restaurants. No matter what the service, subject, or product, there is something wrong with them. Online dating is not for everybody, because for some, the bad outweighs the good. On the flip side, you should now know the negative things about online dating. Are you able to deal with the bad when the end result could be the love of your life? You be the judge…

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